


you, who made me feel alive

by hyuckcurse



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Writing to Cope, sad fic with some burnout traits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:01:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22786051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuckcurse/pseuds/hyuckcurse
Summary: Na Jaemin was way past being burnt out, and all he wanted to do was just sleep, and never think again.But he didn't, because Huang Renjun helped him to stay rooted to the ground and reminded him that everything will get better soon.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	you, who made me feel alive

**Author's Note:**

> hello :) this is a coping fic i wrote a few days ago when i was really upset and burnt out, i was really tired down to the bones, so writing was my only escape. To me, I kinda relate a lot to Jaemin, in the way we both are energetic, clingy and talkative, but we prefer to be alone when we are upset. I reach out when I feel the need to or when things get out of hand, because I also rely in people's comfort and advice. So all i really want to say is, if you are upset and exhausted, take a step back, do whatever you need to feel better <3
> 
> Big thanks to noah for beta-ing this fic :3 ily <3

Heavy. Everything was heavy for Jaemin. Every step he took, every smile he gave and every laughter that he let out, they felt like a huge weight. Jaemin couldn't shake off the lingering sadness in his chest. He couldn't focus on the task at hand, the one that he and his group were supposed to do. He went quiet, extremely quiet. 

"Are you okay, Jaem?" One of them asked, which made everybody's attention shift to him, and all he could do was give them a smile, a weak one that didn't reach his eyes, and lie. "Yeah, I'm okay, just a little bit nervous for today's interview". That was not really a lie, there was an interview for a university he applied to, and he was nervous, but something bigger than that was sitting right on top of him, and it made it difficult for Jaemin to breathe. 

One by one, all of his group mates comforted him, reassuring him that he would do greatly, and he had nothing to worry about. Jaemin smiled some more, but his shoulders felt heavier the longer the smile stayed. He didn't want to dwell on the uneasiness that was in his chest, so instead he tried to keep himself busy with the task they had, just to stay distracted. (It helped, but he felt the heaviness regardless).

The day felt like it was stretching longer as he waited for his turn for the interview, leg bouncing up and down. He tried to memorise the notes he had so he wouldn’t mess up, but it was getting more and more difficult to do so. 

Frustrated, he put away his notes and leaned back in his chair, eyes closing as he tried to remember a face. The image formed rapidly, the brown and sparkly doe eyes, soft cheeks and kissable lips. Huang Renjun. The thought of the other instantly made his heart warm, and the tension bled down from his shoulders. Just a few more hours, and he would get to go home and have the older by his side. 

Jaemin felt slightly better, so he picked up his notes again and tried to read some more before his preparation time was up. He reminded himself that everything would be over very soon, and all he had to do was pretend that everything was okay. He repeated the saying a few times up until the moment he was called into the interview room. Jaemin really did need to be okay, so he pretended everything was fine, and hoped a little harder for everything to pass very soon.

It was close to 9pm when he reached home, and Jaemin was beyond worn out. It took all of his energy to get through the front door, lock it up and go straight into his and Renjun’s shared room. Upon opening the bedroom door, he saw Renjun was already under the blanket with a psychology related book in his hands. Jaemin’s heart softened at the sight of his boyfriend, who surprisingly still hadn't realised that Jaemin was standing by the door. 

Renjun looked up when he heard a knock on the door. His lips that were downturned earlier turned up, bearing the smile that Jaemin adores so much. Jaemin put his bag down on the study table in the corner of the room, quickly changed into his sleeping t-shirt and shorts and washed his face. He switched off the lights, and switched on the night lamp next to the bed. 

Renjun was already patting the space next to him, waiting for Jaemin to get into bed with him. Jaemin quickly took his place, both his arms eager as they wrapped around Renjun's torso and face tucked into Renjun's neck. There were only a few times that Jaemin had acted like this, and Renjun knew straight away from the way his body shook that Jaemin's day was rough and exhausting. And his assumption was right as he heard the first sob from the other.

Both of them laid in silence, the only noise heard was Jaemin's sobs. Renjun carded his fingers through the other's soft pink hair, trying his best to let Jaemin know that he was there for him, with him.

"You wanna tell me what's wrong, baby?" Renjun carefully approached the other as he felt Jaemin calm down a little. It took Jaemin a few moments to catch his breath and collect his thoughts, and when he felt that he was ready, he spoke. 

"It was just pretty overwhelming today. Everything around me felt really heavy and was dragging me down. I'm sorry Injunnie, I shouldn't be feeling like this, but I just couldn't help it." 

"There's nothing to apologise for, Nana. If you are feeling overwhelmed, you are overwhelmed. It's extremely valid, nobody should be allowed to question that." 

Jaemin snuggled deeper into Renjun's arms as he listened to the older whispering encouraging and loving words, the unknown emotion that made it difficult for him the whole day slowly disappeared into nothingness. Jaemin finally felt safe, he was finally home. 

Jaemin pulled himself back and looked straight into Renjun's eyes. They carried all the galaxies that existed in the skies, and Jaemin could visibly see the love Renjun had for him. He couldn't hold himself back, so he kissed Renjun, hard but in a way that conveys how much he meant to Jaemin. He wanted Renjun to know that Jaemin loved him, and he would always be in love with him no matter what. 

"Thank you, Junnie." Jaemin said when they parted for air. Renjun had a blush on his cheeks, and his heart was beating in an absolute fast manner. He loved Na Jaemin way too much, and he would do anything to make sure that his Jaemin stays happy and content. 

"You're welcome, love. Let's get you to sleep, alright? Tomorrow will be a new and better day, and I'm also gonna take you out on a date tomorrow. I missed you so much, Nana" 

"I missed you too."

Renjun pecked Jaemin's forehead before pulling the other back into his embrace, and settled both of them comfortably under their blanket. Jaemin found Renjun's smaller hand and held on it tightly, a habit he had every time he wanted to sleep. Renjun squeezed their intertwined hands, earning a smile from the other. 

"I love you so much, Huang." 

"And I love you so much more, Na."

The day started off difficult for Jaemin, but he knew there was nothing to be worried about when at the end of the day, he would always have Renjun by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> check out all my writings on twitter, @suhnnyhyuck, or just say hi and be my friend :D thank you for the reading, it means the whole world to me.


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